Education With the Organization
by Pyro Vampiress
Summary: Roxas is starting his freshman year at the high school that Axel, Demyx, and Zexion attend. The other members of Organization 13 are at college where Xemnas is the Dean. Classes with the Organization equals PARTY!
1. Too Many Clowns

The evil clowns were chasing him through the funhouse again. They had split up, but Roxas knew there were at least thirty of them total. He ran through a doorway, but skidded to a halt as he realized he was surrounded by...himself. _Damn! _he thought. He was in that room with all the mirrors again. He ALWAYS ended up in this room and it drove him insane.

Roxas turned. Three clowns crept towards him, gloved hands raised. Roxas pulled out his keyblades, but they turned to rubber chickens in his hands. He dropped them and fell to the ground, cowering in fear.

"Roxas," the middle clown said in a voice that sounded like Zexion's.

"No," Roxas muttered, curling up on the floor in a fetal position. The middle clown reached out his hand.

"Roxas!" The middle clown bent over and started shaking Roxas. "C'mon, Roxas, get up."

Roxas awoke. He was lying in his bed, safe in his room. He blinked twice, then looked up to see Zexion standing over him, looking annoyed.

"You're not a clown," Roxas stated.

"The clown dream again?" Zexion asked exasperatedly. "Why do you continue to watch 'Killer Clowns from Outer Space' if it gives you nightmares?"

"Because it's funny," Roxas yawned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He looked over at his clock to see that it was six o'clock in the morning.

"Why'd you get me up so early?" he groaned.

"Gee, I don't know, maybe it's because today's the first day of school and the bus comes in half an hour," Zexion said sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah. Wait, the bus? Aww, why can't you or Axel give Demyx and me a ride?"

"Well, Axel lost all parking privileges last year when he 'accidentally' set his Spanish teacher's desk on fire. As for me, my parking space and some others were given to new staff members and mine hasn't been replaced yet. And we'll be arrested if we go through our portals. So lucky us get to ride the bus. Now, get up and get ready because you do NOT want to be late on your first day of high school."

Zexion left and Roxas commenced to get ready. He showered, got dressed, combed his hair, then went to breakfast. He stopped as he entered the dining room. Axel, Demyx, and Zexion were the only people at the table, Axel and Demyx looking tired and annoyed.

"Where's everyone else?" Roxas asked.

"Um, college," Demyx answered, furrowing his brow at Roxas. "They left last night, remember?"

"Oh...yeah," Roxas said. He wasn't used to being up this early and found he was quite forgetful at this hour. He sat down next to Axel and began to eat a bowl of cereal.

Roxas was glad to be at the same school as some of the Organization members for once. He grinned at the thought of all the trouble he could cause, hoping to have already made a name for himself by the end of his first day as a freshman. Demyx was a sophomore, Zexion a junior, and Axel a senior. That part disappointed Roxas because he would only have a year of high school to wreak havoc with Axel. He decided they would have to make the best of it.

Axel began to down coffee as if it was water in a desert. Roxas had never seen him drink that much coffee and wondered if it was because of not seeing him in the mornings during school days since elementary school.

"He likes to get caffeinated so he has enough energy to cause chaos this early in the morning," Demyx explained.

"That makes sense," Roxas said seriously, watching his best friend chug another cup of coffee.

Ten minutes later…

"Let's get on the bus! Let's get on the bus! Let's get on the BUS!" Axel exclaimed happily, jumping up and down, now freshly energized. He ran out the castle's front door with the speed of a cheetah and the grace of a rhino. Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion followed him at a walk. Axel zoomed around a corner and skidded to a halt at the end of an alley. This was the bus stop for people coming from Castle Oblivion. Roxas and the others stood next to Axel, who was rapidly tapping his foot on the ground like Thumper, the rabbit in "Bambi".

After waiting a few short minutes, a school bus came screeching to a halt in front of the Organization members. Axel zipped up the steps as soon as the doors opened and the bus driver, an old man with white hair that stuck up as if it was constantly being electrified, shook his head as Axel tripped and fell in the aisle of the bus. People laughed, but not meanly; they worshipped Axel. Zexion got on the bus next, taking the nearest empty seat and putting his mP3 player earphones in. Axel stood up and grinned as he brushed himself off. He took an empty seat towards the back and stretched his legs across the aisle, placing his feet on the empty seat across from him. Demyx got on next. He sat in the seat diagonally in front of Axel with his friend, Jimmy, another music fanatic that was a lot like Demyx. Roxas came on last and the bus driver let out a yelp.

"What?" Roxas asked in annoyance.

"You're…you're that kid the pyromaniac told me about at the end of last year!" the bus driver spluttered in fear. "I didn't believe him, but he told me his best friend was coming to the high school this year. He said you were a lot like him." The bus driver groaned. "That's just what I need: two clowns to deal with instead of one." He sighed. "Take a seat, then."

Roxas grinned and walked towards the back of the bus as it began to move. Axel looked up and, at the sight of him, lifted his feet off the seat so that Roxas could sit there.

"I saved that seat especially for you," Axel said. He looked at the other people that were sitting around them. "This," he said proudly, "is Roxas, my best friend…and my pranking partner in crime. Got it memorized? He is a freshman, but he is too awesome for that to matter. Treat him the same way you would treat me, or I will burn your-"

"Desk?" Roxas smirked. "Zexion told me you set your Spanish teacher's desk on fire last year."

Everyone laughed. "Oh, yeah, I remember that," John, a junior said as if lost in a fond memory. "It was so funny. Senora Flemming had told Axel, in Spanish, 'My desk is my empire', and the next thing we all knew, Axel had lit it up. Senora had started yelling at him in Spanish and he had no idea what she was saying and we're just sitting their cracking up."

"Hey, I thought she'd said, 'Light my desk on fire', not, 'My desk is my empire',"Axel said defensively. "I mean, who calls their desk an empire!"

Meanwhile, at F.U., Flippy University, Dean Xemnas sat at a desk in an office.

"My desk is my empire," he said with superiority.

At the same university, Xigbar, Luxord, and Larxene walked into the first class they shared: Psychology. They took seats near each other and took out laptops. Behind their laptops, they signed on to AIM and logged into Organization Thirteen's own private chat room. The professor entered and soon began a lecture that Xigbar, Luxord, and Larxene wasted no time listening to. Lexaeus, Saix, Marluxia, Vexen, and Xaldin soon logged on too.

Marluxia typed: "I'm so sad. There are like no flowers on this campus.

Xaldin: Everywhere you go WON'T have flowers, Mar, get over it!

Vexen: It was too hot here, so I used a little iciness to cool the room down a bit. People keep asking why this room's air conditioned.

Lexaeus: So that's why it's so chilly...

Xaldin: Guys, I already got my lances confiscated.

Saix: By who?

Xaldin: Security. My roommate saw them sticking out of my bag and told on me.

Xigbar: I HATE this professor's voice! I'm getting ready to shoot him!

Luxord: Hey, Larxene, I'll bet you five munny that Xigbar'll have shot the professor by the end of class.

Larxene: You're on.

Xigbar: I can shoot you guys too, you know.

Larxene: Do it and I'll shove my knives in your gut.

Xemnas: Shouldn't you guys be paying attention to your classes?

Everyone other than Xemnas logged off immediately. Larxene and Luxord watched Xigbar stare in annoyance at the professor, who did indeed have an irritatingly squeaky voice.

"Now," the professor said, "in catching serial killers, the F.B.I. uses a system called profiling. Profiling breaks down the psychological pattern of a serial killer, specifying why certain killers do what they do. This can help an agent identify a killer or where/whom he will strike next."

"How 'bout using profiling to figure out what kind of serial killer I am," Xigbar muttered threateningly.

"Serial killers almost always have at least two of three specific traits. They are bed wetting, animal torturing, and setting things on fire."

The three Organization members looked at each other concernedly. Axel liked to light things on fire, Saix liked to torture snakes, and Marluxia often wet the bed. Basically, the thought that Organization Thirteen could, combined, become a group of serial killers unnerved them a little bit.

Luxord's cell phone vibrated. "Shit," he cursed quietly. He looked up, watching the professor carefully to make sure he did not see him. He pulled out his phone and ducked behind his laptop.

"What?" he whispered. After listening to the caller for another moment, his face lit up and he jumped up from his seat, yelling triumphantly, "I WON!"

The professor stopped speaking and the rest of the class stared at Luxord.

"Excuse me?" the professor asked dangerously.

"I won five thousand munny from a bet I made at a Gummi ship race!"

"And how exactly did you find this out?"

"Umm…" Luxord said guiltily, looking down at the phone in his hand. He lifted it up to his mouth and turned away from the professor, whispering, "I'll call you back after class." He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket.

"If you do not plan to pay attention to my class, then please leave until you are ready to do so," the professor said sternly.

"I'm only in college because Xemnas made us go," Luxord said in irritation. "He wants us to get degrees or he'll turn us into Dusks, but I have no interest in college."

"I can see that. Well, you'll never get a degree if you don't pay attention to my lessons. So I suggest you do so or, like I said, leave."

"That's it," Xigbar said. He stood up and aimed one of his guns at the professor. He shot him in the nose and the professor started dancing around, yelling in agony and holding his bleeding face. Luxord and Larxene looked at him in exasperation and shook their heads wearily. "It was the way he said, 'leave'." Xigbar shrugged. "I couldn't take it anymore!"

Campus Security came running into the room, two of them helping the professor out and four of them charging at Xigbar, who grinned sheepishly. Security rushed him out of the room as well, saying, "You're going to see the Dean!"

Luxord turned to Larxene. "You owe me five munny," he stated baldly.

"You just won five thousand," Larxene said sourly as she pulled five munny out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"How much you wanna bet that Xemnas will shove one of his startlingly Star Wars-like glowing red swords up Xigbar's ass?"


	2. Troublemakers

Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and Zexion all walked through the doors of Getalittle High School together. Before they could take ten steps into the main hallway, a round, portly man with a toothbrush mustache came swooping down upon the group. Axel stared at the man indignantly.

"I didn't do anything yet!" he exclaimed.

"Your hood is up: dress code violation," giving Axel a look of dislike. Axel mumbled darkly and pulled his hood off his head. "Besides, I'm here to see Roxas, not you."

Roxas looked at the man with a furrowed brow, then at Axel, who shrugged, then back at the man. "For what?" he asked defensively.

"I need to see you in my office. Follow me."

The man turned away and walked down the hall. Roxas stood there, confused, for a moment, then hurried up to follow him. He led him through the main office, then into a smaller one inside of it. He shut the door and gestured for Roxas to sit. The man sat in the high-backed chair opposite Roxas and steepled his fingers.

"Hellooo, Roxas," the man said slowly.

"Umm…hi…?" Roxas responded, thinking, _Man this guy is weird_.

"I am Principal Shamalamadingdong. Isn't that nice?"

"No. You look like a penguin," Roxas said innocently.

"Excuse me?" the principal, Mr. Shamalamadingdong, growled.

"You look like a penguin," Roxas repeated. He sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose. "And you smell bad."

"Well, Roxas, do you want to know what I think of you?"

"No, not really."

"I think you look like a hooligan, and I think you smell like a troublemaker. Listen, boy, I know you're with those…organization people. And dear Axel, probably this school's biggest disruption, went on and on last year about how his best friend, Roxas, would be coming to the school too. I am warning you: Do NOT disregard the rules here at Getalittle High. I will make life bad for you."

Roxas grinned. "Well," he said, "I think I like going to Getalittle High. Thank you for your time, Mr. Penguin Man!"

Roxas gave the glowering principal a mocking salute and marched enthusiastically out of the office.

Axel and Demyx could be found sitting in the courtyard with a group of seniors and juniors. Roxas hesitated a bit, but then joined them. After Axel made introductions, one senior, Mike, crossed his arms and said, "Ax, he's an air freshener."

"Your point?" Axel asked cooly as Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"Well, hanging out with junibugs is okay, even some s'mores, but freshies?"

Roxas scratched his head. Junibugs? S'mores? Then it struck him that Mike was referring to grade levels and the nicknames students had for each one.

"Quit being immature," Axel said, waving a hand through the air dismissively.

"Um, Axel," Demyx grinned, "you can't really talk about maturity."

"I AM mature!"

Everyone laughed at this.

"Seriously though," Axel said solemnly, "Roxas is one of the coolest people I know, and I'll shove one of my chakrams up the arse of anyone who disagrees."

Feeling elated, Roxas grinned. He looked around the courtyard, observing his surroundings. His wandering eyes rested on a tree that had branches hovering around one classroom's windows. The grin on his face widened as the mechanics of his brain were set into motion.

"Roxas!" Axel said, awakening him from his thoughts.

"What?" Roxas asked, slowly looking away from the tree.

"I said your name three times. What're you thinking about?"

Roxas looked back at the tree and smiled wickedly. "I've got a sweet idea."

Meanwhile, back at F.U., Xibar was standing in front of Xemnas' desk. Xemnas had his head bowed, resting it on his folded hands while sighing heavily. Xibar had his arms crossed in front of his chest and was glaring moodily at the wall, as if contemplating whether to shoot that too, his foot tapping on the floor impatiently.

Finally, looking up, Xemnas leaned back in his chair and said, "Xigbar, I know it's your first day and you don't want to be here-"

"Just like the others," Xigbar growled.

"-But I'm having you guys do this for a reason. So please, don't fuck this up."

"The professor pissed me off."

"You don't shoot me when I piss you off!"

"That's because you would turn me into a Dusk."

"Okay," Xemnas paused in thought. "Then if you shoot anymore teachers, I will turn you into a Dusk."

"Aw, Xemnas!" Xigbar smacked the desk angrily.

"Xigbar, my desk is my empire!" Xemnas said incredulously, his face distorting into a shockingly furious expression.

"What?!"

"You're just jealous."

"No, now I'm just confused," Xigbar scratched his head.

Xemnas sighed again. "Xigbar, just go back to your room for the rest of the day and I'll cover up the whole thing-as usual. I swear, I can't take you guys anywhere!"

Xigbar laughed. "Remember that one time at the zoo-"

"Which one? The one where Roxas and Axel rode on the giraffes, or the incident with Saix and the baboon? Because I don't want to remember the baboon one; that was just…ugh."

"Actually, I wasn't talking about either of those times. It must've been…oh, uh, never mind."

Xemnas sat up in his chair. "Must've been what?"

"Um…"Xibgar began backing out of the room, then said all in one breath, "one-of-the-times-we-all-snuck-out-and-went-to-the-zoo-drunk-without-you-bye!" before bolting out of Xemnas' office. Xemnas sighed and shook his head.

Back at Getalittle High, Zexion was in his fourth period class: Chemistry. He sat at his desk, bored with the first day activity where they had to fill out little facts about themselves. He looked out the open window in thought, feeling the warmth mingled with the cool breeze and sighing in content. He looked back at the sheet.

_What are your goals as a student for this year?_

_To get good enough grades that Xemnas will stay off my ass and to not get arrested at school like last year,_" Zexion thought dryly. The previous year, he had gotten pissed off at someone for talking badly about his girlfriend at the time and had launched his lexicon across the room at the kid. He had to go to the hospital and the cops in the school put Zexion in handcuffs immediately and escorted him from the premises. It was yet another thing that Xemnas had to cover up.

Zexion wrote down a bullshit student-kissing-ass answer and then moved on to the rest of the sheet.

Something suddenly flew through the window and hit Zexion in the side of the face with a splat.

"What the-" he exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and already reaching under his cloak for his lexicon. Everyone was looking at him and laughing. The teacher was slowly standing up from behind his desk. Zexion pulled a bologna, cheese, and mayonnaise sandwich off his face and threw it back out the window as the teacher swiftly crossed the room to see what was going on.

There was a whooshing noise and a cascade of sandwiches, bananas, puddings, and other various foods came flying through the window, splattering all over the students, the desks, the teacher.

"This…is…horrible!" Mr. Senn exclaimed between hits of different foods. "I just…got this tie…yesterday!"

Zexion did not need to peer through the window and look in the tree to see that Roxas and Axel were behind the assault on Mr. Senn's classroom. He wiped the ketchup out of his eyes in time to see Roxas and Axel pulling the tree branch back again and launching more food while giggling like mad hyenas, and then, the world went black as a potato hit Zexion square in the forehead.

Xigbar was sitting on the bed in his new dorm room, playing his game boy, when his roommate walked in. The guy was tall and thin with a good looking face, on which was perched a pair of 

glasses. The guy stood there for a moment, watching Xigbar expressionlessly, and sighed before walking over to his own bed and setting his things down. Xigbar finished the level he was on, yelled like an overjoyed child, saved the game, and turned it off. He sat on the edge of his bed and grinned at his new roommate, who was sitting opposite him in the same position, but his face looking unsatisfied.

"So, what game were you playing?" the roommate asked.

"Crazy Castle! It's a Looney Tunes game!" Xigbar answered excitedly.

"Fascinating," the roommate said with subtle sarcasm. "I'm Andrew."

"I'm Xigbar."

Andrew raised an eyebrow. "Xigbar? What are you, a chocolate bar?"

Xigbar, taking offense at the comment, pulled out one of his guns and shot Andrew in the nose just like he had done to his psychology professor.

"AAAHHH!" Andrew yelled in pain, falling on the floor and clutching his nose, or what was left of it. Xemnas entered the room through a portal. He stood there staring at the crumpled, bawling Andrew in shock. He turned to Xigbar angrily.

"Weren't you just in my office for this?!" Xemnas roared.

"No, that was for a teacher," Xigbar said calmly.

"URGHHH!" Xemnas pointed at the door. "Back to my office!"


End file.
